sorry don't read this..

the lies are broken, the chains are gone,
i've finally revealed all the hidden wrongs,
i'm not quite sure just how i feel,
but i think for, once, i'm feeling real,
not lost in a world that doesn't exist,
not meandering through a life full of synthetic bliss,
not drowning in bitterness, or sorrow, or pain,
not numb and cold, a zombeh again.

finally...
i think i can move on. i feel the same about you as you do about me. but the differance is...

...you deserve it.


or do read it... whatever ya want. i wrote it to celebrate my own freedom today. it's a long difficult story that i don't care to tell, seeing as i'm trying to forget this, one of the worst times in my life. i figure i'll have other bad times, so why hold on to them? they'll just all drag me down. so i'm trying to forge happy memories, and you know what? it seems to be working. my emotions may change a little often, but it's in reaction to what i percieve to be happening. and i'm learning the most amazing new talent... to be happy, no matter what. before you ask... not what it sounds like. i still get mad. in fact i had a large argument with one of my bossess today because he tried to blame his mistake on me. but the special thing is... im learning to drop it much quicker and move on to being happy again. ya know???? i think i'm gonna try to post an excerpt from my book on here soon. maybe in a few days.

just a simple one

everything you love leaves or dies,
its the truth, and i'm tired of all the lies.
no longer, ignored,
i realize the score
was never so easily judged.

for a friend

brightly, colors blazing,
burning like the midnight sun,
the vivid hues amazing,
the darkness starts to run.

the wings are slowly moving,
gently rising and falling,
the gentle fluttering so soothing,
and the winds current's calling.

i can see you in the colours of the butterfly,
as it lazily flaps it wings,
in my thoughts you often walk by,
and though your not here, you cause me to sing!

i love you my friend for the joy that you bring,
the colour you add to my life!
and without you, something,
would be missing, and i'd be quickly overrun with strife.

what we call art...

artistic. so many things are considered art now.... sigh... poetry falls into disrepair, and writing in general has become either too stuffy, or to oriented toward people who don't read. it just doesn't work. so people go for visual, or audial (is that a word?) art. i think that people are pretty useless in general. we /i/ kinda mess things up way too much. and this is one of the examples that is actually kinda useless, but it makes me sad. poetry and prose used to incite people's emotions.... to bring out feelings of love, anger, joy, dread. people are too connected with everything else to feel these emotions much it seems... maybe i'm wrong, but thats what it seems like to me.

truth pt 1.

so i was thinking today, not missing...
when i realized something quite int'resting.
i found, it so seems,
that in love, things,
are illogical, and often dilluded.
some say that others create fault,
and that rarely is such fault merited.
well it seems to me, at least my belief,
is that love likes to overlook the truthes, hated.
the sad thing, my friends, is the outcome, the end...
the truth when it finally is revealed...
the poor lovers eyes,
his sobs, and his cries,
as he leaves the world he's created.
when you remove the lies,
the twisted surprise
is that no human is a good one.